What “Best Friend” Means To Me

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Recently, Sarah Bessey wrote about her circles of friendship. I loved this post because in an age where we “friend” people who we might not recognize if we passed them on the street, it’s good to have ways to explain what we mean when we talk about our friends.

I don’t have nearly the well-thought out categories that Sarah shares, but I do have people who I consider to be “best friends.” I have my husband Jason, my friend Tina, and my friend Rich.

They are all my best friend.

Jason is my best friend because he shows me that honesty is worth pursuing even when it’s hard. He makes me laugh better than anyone else. He is the first person to support me when I want to pursue my dreams.

Tina is my best friend because she knows all of the words to Flood by They Might Be Giants. She can quote Designing Women with me. She reminds me of the importance of asking questions instead of providing answers.

Rich is my best friend because he introduced me to Mountain Stage. He’s a great person to split a piece of tiramisu with after dinner. He gave me music back when I thought it was gone.

Jason is my husband. I’ve known Tina longer than anyone else. Rich is a colleague. These things mean that we have different ways that we interact. Our best friendship is impacted by each of these labels.

When I talk about best friends, I’m not talking about a hierarchy of importance. I’ve never been into ranking which relationship means the most to me.

When I say that these are my best friends, I mean that these are the best kind of friends. These are the people with whom I can share all of me, without fear of rejection. They are honest with me in ways that I can’t be with myself. They are witty and smart and passionate and kind. They make me want to be a better person.

Next week I’m heading to the Sacred Friendship Gathering to talk about one of these friendships. And while I’m there, I’ll almost certainly use the phrase “best friend.”

But please know, this isn’t a statement of position or pecking order. This is about friendship of the highest quality.

This is about the best kind of friends.

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If you’d like to join us for the Sacred Friendship Gathering, there are still spots available. The speaker list is incredible and the topics are amazing. I would love to see you out there! If you’re unable to attend, be sure to follow the #BoldBoundaries hashtag on Twitter or follow along on the Facebook page.

  • http://www.hillsideslide.blogspot.com hillsideslide

    “When I say that these are my best friends, I mean that these are the best kind of friends.”

    I love how you see things.
    Also? And you’re a treasure. With a great laugh.

    • http://www.alise-write.com Alise Wright

      And now I’ve got Bosom Buddies rolling through my brain. Love you muchly.

  • http://jesuswithoutbaggage.wordpress.com/ Tim Chastain

    You are so right. There is room for a number of best friends and there is no need for a hierarchy.

  • http://lifebeforethebucket.blogspot.com/ Adrian Waller

    What a great reframe of a phrase that I’ve never really liked or understood. I love it!

  • http://www.leighkramer.com/ HopefulLeigh

    I’ve been wrestling with community and friendship so much the past couple of years, especially in the last month as I’ve had to accept the ways some of my oldest friendships have changed. Reading this confirmed some of my fears: “These are the people with whom I can share all of me, without fear of
    rejection. They are honest with me in ways that I can’t be with myself.
    They are witty and smart and passionate and kind. They make me want to
    be a better person.”

    Last night I talked to a blog friend turned real life friend about these struggles and wondered out loud if blogging has changed some of my friendships. Before blogging, friendship was situational and seasonal. I easily make acquaintances and have a large circle of friends but true, deep friendship was hard to find. But blogging introduced me to so many kindred spirits who have become real life friends. Even though most of them don’t live nearby, I have the kinds of friendships I’ve longed for and this in turn has forced me to take a hard look at my friends back home and here and really think about what I want and need in a friend and what I can give in return.

    • http://www.alise-write.com Alise Wright

      Yeah, when we change and what we want from our friends changes, that can be really difficult. Hugs to you as your sort through that!

  • http://KatieAxelson.com/ Katie Axelson

    I went through a phase where I never used the term “best friend” because I thought it meant I could only have one. Of course, now I realize it doesn’t and am working it back in my vocabulary to describe a collection of people.

    • http://www.alise-write.com Alise Wright

      Yeah, it’s definitely possible that I’m using “best” wrong here. But I don’t care. ;-)

  • http://MegLivingInsideOut.net/ Meg Davis @InverseDream

    Looking for the “like button” … I so agree.

    • http://MegLivingInsideOut.net/ Meg Davis @InverseDream

      And it’s right above me … and I’m a tired silly … :-)

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