Guest Post for Rachel Held Evans

On Mondays, Rachel usually blogs about something related to sexuality. I am honored today to share with you a rework of the speech that I gave on Friday at Wild Goose about friendship and sexuality, which is kind of a rework of this series of posts about friendship and attraction.

We often talk out of both sides of our mouths. We encourage intimacy, but at the same time, we talk about guarding our hearts. Intimacy requires that we let our guard down, and yet, when it comes to friendship that might include any kind of attraction, we build walls to protect us. But we often don’t talk about just what those walls end up cutting us off from.

As we are based more on fear, rather than on love, we cut ourselves off from the kind of intimacy that allows us to really rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. We allow detachment to become the norm, and even call that holy and good.

Head over here to read the full post. And if you’re here from her place, welcome! Take a look around and be sure to connect with me on Facebook and Twitter.

  • Monika Jankun-Kelly

    I suspect this may be less of an issue in the secular community, since we don’t teach gender roles nor “sexual purity”, but I still think this is so relevant for everyone. How much better would life be for women and men if we saw each other as friends, as brothers and sisters, and not only as potential romantic partners? We could all relax more, and have wider support networks. Even if someone is looking for romance, I think friendship needs to come before, to provide a secure foundation of affection and respect.

    Thanks to you and Rachel both for writing about relationships and sexuality. Our culture, and I do mean all of us, has some vestigial Puritanical hangups. I’m glad you two write about these topics in a positive light, and present them as natural and good.