I thought that forgiving you
would be a one time event.
We would embrace
and I would softly whisper in your ear,
Then we would shed a few tears
and share a few laughs
and things would be normal.
We would be okay.
But it’s not been like that.
Oh, we had that moment.
But it didn’t really change things.
At least not the way that I hoped.
I knew that your words had cut deep
but I had no idea that the bleeding
just. wouldn’t. stop.
And I heard opposing stories.
Forgiveness isn’t a feeling, it’s an action!
If you still think about it, you haven’t forgiven!
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you open yourself to abuse!
How can you forgive and hold someone at arm’s length!
I twisted and turned to try to figure out
if I’d actually forgiven you.
If the event of forgiveness had occurred.
If bygones were bygones.
And I don’t think that I have forgiven you.
But I am forgiving you.