Ask a Mixed Faith Couple

atheist husband

I have been a big fan of Rachel Held Evans's "Ask A..." series since its inception. I always enjoy reading through the questions and I have been consistently impressed by the answers given. So I'm really excited and a little bit nervous to be participating in the series with my atheist husband Jason (Because that's his primary job, right? Being an atheist?)! Excited because it's always an honor to talk about our marriage, nervous because there have been some pretty stellar entries in that series and it's kind of intimidating. Today you can head over to Rachel's blog and ask us the pressing questions that you've always wanted to know about being married to someone who doesn't share your belief system. The way this works is that you can ask questions and vote for your favorite questions … [Read more...]

Equality Not to be Grasped

For as long as I can remember, I've loved the passage Philippians 2:5-11, most likely thanks to Michael Card's Carmen Christi. It has always struck me as a beautiful picture of service to one another. But these verses have also been used regularly to put women in their place. In churches and in homes, I have often seen this passage used to suggest that hierarchy exists within the Trinity and therefore must exist within the home and the Church. 5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as … [Read more...]

I’m a Slut

In November of 1996, I began taking oral contraceptives. And in December of that same year, I started having sex. I don't remember the exact date, but I do know that it was the first of many times.I'd messed around a lot the two and a half years prior. Lots of pushing the envelope as far as it could go without crossing over to sex, and at least a little bit of pushing beyond even that. The only thing that kept me from just going ahead having intercourse was a deathly fear of pregnancy. I was not going to be an unwed mother, so I didn't have sex. But I was sure as hell sexual, and I got as good as I gave.I've had one sexual partner in my life. And I'm married to him. In the two and a half years before we were married, we were completely faithful to one another. He was the first and only … [Read more...]

Guest post at

I know that everyone things that they have the best "how we met" story, but the truth is, Jason and I win. I absolutely love our story, so when Leigh Kramer asked me to participate in her This is How We Met blog series, I was all over it. (And by all over it, I mean, turned it in a week late - sorry Leigh!)Here's a short excerpt from my piece:For my entire life, I’ve hated the heat. I am absolutely miserable when I’m hot and most people don’t want to be around me. It’s certainly not when you’d want to meet me because I am not at my most charming when I’m sweaty and gross. It was a hot Friday afternoon in June of 1992.  I had just graduated from high school and was just days away from celebrating my 18th birthday, officially marking my journey to becoming an adult. Part of … [Read more...]

Quotes from Judge Reinhardt’s Majority Opinion on Prop 8

"We do not celebrate when two people merge their bank accounts; we celebrate when a couple marries." ~page 39 "The court found, among other things, that (1) marriage benefits society by organizing individuals into cohesive family units, developing a realm of liberty for intimacy and free decision making, creating stable households, legitimating children, assigning individuals to care for one another, and facilitating property ownership; (2) marriage benefits spouses and their children physically, psychologically, and economically, whether the spouses are of the same or opposite sexes; (3) domestic partnerships lack the social meaning associated with marriage; (4) permitting same-sex couple to marry would not affect the number or stability of opposite-sex marriages; (5) the … [Read more...]

You Romance Me

You know how to romance.Sure, there are the easy things,like flowers picked up at the grocery storewhen I ask you to stop and get the eggs that I forgot to buy.Or the gold earrings you chose for me that I wear almost every day.You say the obligatoryI love you'sandYou're beautiful'sthat make me smile and blush, even after 15 years.You know how to romance according to the books.You compliment, you serve, you defer.You follow the rules of romance.But you color outside of those heart-shaped boxes.You shower me with laptop batteriesand ninja t-shirtsand Terminator DVDs.You whisper sweet nothings likeThat's terrific bassandHey baby. I'm, like, pretty tallthat make me laugh and love you more deeply than I could imagine.You know things that the books could never tell you,not in a million … [Read more...]

Repost: Lessons Learned

This was a post that didn't get a lot of play when it first ran, but it was an important one to me. It was good for me to think back of the season we had just been through and evaluate what I had learned from it. Jon Acuff is promoting that Finish Year at his blog. I encourage you to go check it out and share what you want to do with others. But while we keep our eyes on the goal, don't forget to enjoy the journey as well and take as much from that as you do from the result.++++++++++++++photo © 2007 Michel Filion | more info (via: Wylio)I intended to blog yesterday. I had a topic picked out and was starting to work on a post (I know, I'm supposed to be ahead here. I get it.). I got a few paragraphs in and got a call from Jason.About a month ago, he applied for a new job and we've been … [Read more...]

I Kissed Dating (My Husband) Goodbye

Jason and I have never been very much for dating. When we first got together, we were a long-distance couple. We didn't see each other very often (about every four to six weeks), so when we were together, we chose to stay in. When we married, we were on completely different shifts, me student teaching bright and early in the morning and him working retail until late at night. We then moved, got pregnant, moved again, got pregnant three more times in under three years, and found that staying home was way easier (and cheaper) than trying to find a babysitter for four young kids.One of our best datesBut finding babysitters and time are just excuses. The real reason that we don't date is because we are very bad at it. We will occasionally have a nice time out with just the two of us, but those … [Read more...]