Blasphemy

A Deeper Family

Today is my day over at A Deeper Family. Honestly, I didn’t think I was going to be able to get a post together for today. There has been a lot going on in my family of origin over the past month, and not much of it has been good. Honestly, a lot of it has been downright awful. I’m usually a big fan of Easter, but this year…it was hard. It felt a lot more of Friday than of Sunday. I think it might just be that way for a while.

Right now I’m just working on sorting through that. This post is only the very beginning of that work.

And when so much hurt and pain swirls around me, I just want to drink too much and swear too loudly and wish it would just go away. Go away and never, ever, ever come back.

I know that in the coming days and months, people will offer words of encouragement that sound hollow to me. I know that some will offer to pray with me when all I want to do is shake my fist at the heaven. I know that there will be Bible verses quoted at me when all I want is to listen to the angry words in my brain. I know that some will call everything healed already, in Jesus’s name, while I can see only misery and anguish.

I’d love it if you’d stop by A Deeper Family to give the rest a read. And if you’re so inclined, please say a prayer for my family. Thank you, friends.

  • Common Household Mom

    I read your post over at “A Deeper Family.” I just wanted to say that this is exactly, exactly how I felt about a year ago in the midst of my Dad’s illness. At my church there were many, many people who just stayed with me in my grief and anger. There were many who prayed for my family, on my account, when I was unable to pray. This was a greater gift than praying *with* me would have been. I am praying for you and your family in that same way, and hope you can find people closer to you who will also serve in this way.

  • Marie

    Alise, my friend, (you don’t know me but in a way I count you a friend for the ways your blog helps me feel less alone)…I’m so sorry for your pain. Please know I pray and will pray for you.